Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
