I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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