my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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