DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
