I murdered the dance floor call the cops
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
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i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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