i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
