Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
