I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
