I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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