I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
