I wish I could teleport
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
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