you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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