no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I want to make a zoo with you.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize