some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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