dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
