I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
