thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
