She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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