i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
