By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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