i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
