did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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