you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
