Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
