When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize