My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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