So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
