This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
