Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
