A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
