So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
