Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
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