I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
