I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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