plz talk dirty to me
Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
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