Porn is love you can see.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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