So drunk, too bad you don't want this
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
