there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
