speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
