So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
It's blow job season.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Randomize
