If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
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