I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
is this the sara with the beer cane?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
