Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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