Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
