Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
