my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
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