Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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