You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
