And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
