i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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