I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
