she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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