I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
