u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
