So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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