This dress was meant to end up on your floor
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
