girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i think i have herpe
just one?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
