he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
we're so committed to being not committed
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