she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
