I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
