I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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