If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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