when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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