so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your dick twin last night
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
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