Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
